Crappy day complete with crappy choices

Yesterday was a real mixed bag of good and bad.

It started off weird. No school due to the extreme cold. Now I spent half my life in Northern Alberta/BC and I've experienced "cold" days before. Usually the cut off is -40C. Yesterday here it was -20c or so but with the wind chill it was well below -30. So not quite a deep freeze but damn cold.

My mom had invited the kids and I to go to Halifax with her to pick up my cousin T, who is here on course. I had originally said no because of school. Well now we have this great opportunity to go, so go we did. It was nice for my daughter to have time to spend with her "cousin twin" (T's daughter).

We hit up Costco and that is where the bad choices began. We got there at lunch time and that should have been enough to send up the red flags. The kids were starved so we went to the lunch counter they have there. Not a good choice in sight. Mom and I decided to split a chicken fingers and fries. We also got an extra fries for my son. Well let me tell you, like everything else at Costco, their servings are huge. We could have split that chicken and fries 3 ways. Needless to say I ended up eating far more crap than I should have.

My Costco loot was great though. Lots of great veggies, some Kashi cereal. It was well worth the trip.

By the time we got home it was 6pm. DH was 2 minutes behind us getting home from work. He had a rough day, spent 4 hours standing outside covering a house fire. The family, all safe thank God, lost everything. He wasn't feeling so great when he got home and I was tired so we ordered pizza. Again probably the worst choice to make. And then I ate 2 pieces.

Yesterday is definitely being reflected in the scale. I need to stay focused for the rest of the week, and fortunately I have all that lovely food from Costco to help me do it.

Enough excuses, time to get er done!

Back on track.... kind of

So much for getting back on track. I have to say that food wise I have done much better today. I have stayed withing my 26pts and have made good choices. As far as exercise goes......................nada.

Woke up this morning with my left shoulder and neck completely siezed up. I have a recurring issue with the nerves in my upper back and neck. Most of August and early September was spent with the pain moving from side to side and at times so bad it hurt to hold my head up. It has been really well behaved the last little while and I had hoped it was resolved. No such luck. I'm going to have to try and suffer through and get some walking in tomorrow. If I can keep my arm from jostling too much it should be okay.

So far, so good

This weekend has gone much better than last. I'm still having trouble getting my snacks in but with a little more effort I can manage that. I had a small slip today. Went into town to apply for a job at Penningtons and had to drive past the dreaded Golden Arches. I had some change in my pocket and some points to spend so I thought "I'll just get a small fries". So I did. I ate maybe half and thought "These don't taste nearly as good as they smell." So I stopped. I wish I hadn't stopped in the first place but I'm glad I kept it under control. Salty foods are a big weakness of mine.

On another topic, my little guy just started school this year and this weekend he had his first "homework". He had brought home his poem binder and he was supposed to read/sing them with me. OMG!!! He is soooo smart. He has been reading for almost a year now and actually has trouble pointing to the words as he says them because it slows him down too much. I was trying to sing along and he was saying "no no no Mommy that isn't the tune, it goes like this" in that long suffering voice of his. *sigh* They grow up so fast. I'll turn around and he'll be a teenager :(

It is now 9:35 at night and I have yet to exercise today. I better get off my butt and onto the treadmill.

Have a great day tomorrow!

Emotional Eating and then some!

So today sucks, we've already established this. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that this wonderful, amazing little boy is gone. I've been asked to go to school tomorrow
(I normaly only work Wed. mornings) to help out and just be another set of hands to try and keep things as normal as possible for the other kids. It is such a small school (75 students from P-5) that this will affect everyone.

I did take the kids out for dinner, though I chose the poached fish and salad option (5pts altogether) and I did not have one fry off their plates.

Warning excuses alert!!!!

After dd's piano and voice, I really, really wanted some chocolate. I still had four points left and I felt as though I was due. So I did go to Tim's and get myself a Cafe Mocha Lite (2pts) and worked out how many points per piece of dark chocolate (0.5 in case you are interested). And you know what, I didn't eat that chocolate. I just thought why would I choose to eat 4 tiny little pieces of chocolate when instead I could have an apple or something equally satisfying and far less soul destroying.

As for this feeling that I was "due", why exactly was I due? I didn't do anything special. I was an emotional wreck, that's all. I need to stop turning to food for comfort.

The Biggest Loser Blog Edition!!!!

I've signed up for the Biggest Loser Blog Edition! The challenge runs through to December 27th and I am hoping it will give me the boost I need to get a good start on this weight loss journey. Thanks Angie for having this brilliant idea.

You asked us to post our tricks, mental mind games, excuses etc that we play on ourselves. Boy do I have those. My biggest one I would have to say is the way I convince myself that I really do eat healthy. Well obviously not or I wouldn't be in this predicament, now would I?! I do like all the healthy foods, it's just that I really like all that other stuff too. I am also terrible at keeping to a routine. My home life is a mess, the only place I'm organized is at work. I have this tendency to start off with lots of passion and drive, but I quickly fizzle out. I think I bite off more than I can chew and it ends up being too much and I give up entirely. Then again that sounds like an excuse doesn't it!

I am determined to do this. I want to do this. I am sick of wishing I could loose weight. The fact is I haven't really ever tried before. Not really. Sure I've done WW and I've tried different diets but I've never really committed to it before. This is it. I'm done with being + size.