So today sucks, we've already established this. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that this wonderful, amazing little boy is gone. I've been asked to go to school tomorrow
(I normaly only work Wed. mornings) to help out and just be another set of hands to try and keep things as normal as possible for the other kids. It is such a small school (75 students from P-5) that this will affect everyone.
I did take the kids out for dinner, though I chose the poached fish and salad option (5pts altogether) and I did not have one fry off their plates.
Warning excuses alert!!!!
After dd's piano and voice, I really, really wanted some chocolate. I still had four points left and I felt as though I was due. So I did go to Tim's and get myself a Cafe Mocha Lite (2pts) and worked out how many points per piece of dark chocolate (0.5 in case you are interested). And you know what, I didn't eat that chocolate. I just thought why would I choose to eat 4 tiny little pieces of chocolate when instead I could have an apple or something equally satisfying and far less soul destroying.
As for this feeling that I was "due", why exactly was I due? I didn't do anything special. I was an emotional wreck, that's all. I need to stop turning to food for comfort.
But in the end you saw through your own excuses - good job. Sounds like you got over the speed bump without a scratch. I am so sorry for your community's loss. Keep strong.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya -- I struggle with stress eating, too! Another BLBE person...
ReplyDelete