Sunday, February 15, 2009

Hovering

That is how I would describe what I've been doing the last few weeks. I've been yo-yoing around the 230 mark for about 4 weeks now. Essentially since we started this challenge. I've been off track as far as exercise and food goes. The only blessing thus far is that I haven't actually gained a significant amount of weight back. My eating and exercise habits have gone back to the same old, same old.

Why exactly have I gotten so off track?

I'm not sure. I've been getting lots of compliments lately about how noticible the loss is. As one of my co workers said (she's been on deffered leave and hasn't seen me since June) "You look like you've lost half a person" It feels great to get that but I think I then start to self sabatoge. Like I don't deserve to be recognized for my hard work. *pfft* whatever

It's been tough this past little while. We've been watching a close friend of the family slowly fade away. He passed last weekend and that was very difficult. As prepared as we all thought we were, it was still a shock. But I absolutely refuse to use him as an excuse. The dignity, grace and humor with which this man faced his final year would be demeaned by that. I just hope that I can take the lessons that I learned from him, his wife and daughter and put them to good use.

To that end, I am determined to get back on track. I need to live every day to the fullest. who knows what will happen tomorrow? We can't ever know and I don't want to be left with regrets.

1 comment:

  1. We should all live our lives to the fullest. You never know.

    I think they same way you do , I get off track for no apparent reason. When I do go and start getting very cool compliments I start to sabotage myself.

    This challenge is for us to get to where we are going with the support of awesome people. I hope you and I both have success in this, we need to find our motivation again and kick some butt!
    Keep working on it, it will pay off!

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