Today had to be one of the hardest days I have ever been through. I went in to school again today, again to act as a floater, just to be there in case anyone needed a break. And a few teachers did, needed time to get some planning done so that they could leave immediately following the funeral. The students were all great. They are so much more accepting than we adults are. The funeral was brutal. K broke my heart when she gave the eulogy. Being his teacher and his aunt made it doubly difficult for her.
I sat there thinking about this beautiful little boy and I was struck by how he had lived his life. He came into this world at a huge disadvantage but he never saw it like that. His parents could have kept him in a bubble, safe and secure, away from all infection and trouble, but they chose not to. They chose to allow him to live as normal a life as possible. He went to school, went four-wheeling with his dad, played like any other little boy with his buddies. He always had a smile, hardly ever complained even though he would be in extreme pain at times. He treated everyone equally, all were his friends.
He was a fine example to all of us. This weight issue is really just suicide by inches. I have been told over and over the consequences my obesity will eventually bring. I've seen it happen to family members. J grabbed life and squeezed every bit out of it he could. I sit and whine. Which of us has the better life???
Whinning time is done. I am finished. I have had it with myself. I have to realize that I am worth the effort. I am important to the people in my life and they deserve for me to do the best I can for them and myself.
Time to be honest
b-activia, pear 3pt
s-orange 2 pt
l-Lean Cuisine, and one bite of Lee's awesome Mac and Cheese 9pt
S- KFC (gag!) 20pt
so 10 points of my flex used....... on crap...... again.
no exercise again. Tomorrow I am getting back on track and I hope that on Sunday I will be able prepare the weeks meals so that there will be no temptation for the quick and easy fix (aka fast food)